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Me
Just Wanna Be Me 12-September-2011
We were watching a movie over the weekend, and Ezra said something that still has me thinking, several days later.
Red from ‘Hoodwinked Too’ said, “I was trying to be just like Granny…” and so on. Ezra said, “Kids always say that. Why do they say that? They want to be just like this person or just like that person, why don’t they want to be themselves? The only person I’m trying to be ‘just like’ is ME!”
And at first I was a little hurt. I mean, what parent doesn’t like to hear, “I want to be just like my Dad!” or “I want to be just like my Mom!” etc? I told him he’s a really confident kid, and that he *should* be just like him!
The more I think about it, that’s exactly what I teach him. To be himself. Follow his heart, do the things he loves to do, and be proud of who he is. I also teach him that *I’m* far from perfect… I’m impatient sometimes, on a rare occasion I can be just a touch bullheaded, I wish I’d learned this or that sooner, etc. I try to teach him the good things I do well, and teach him to ‘do better’ the things I’m not so good at. And the things he loves that I don’t know anything about, we learn together. I suppose I’ve been teaching him that all along, and it didn’t hit me until he said what he said during the movie the other night: I only want him to be ‘like me’ in the ways that he wants to be, but mostly I want him to be himself.
I’ve decided that instead of getting my feelings hurt, I’m going to keep doing what I’ve been doing, even though I didn’t realize I was, in many ways, teaching them *not* to be like me! I should be teaching them the things I know and do well, trying to improve in myself the things I teach them I *don’t* know or do well, and in the end, I want them to be better people than I am. In many ways, they already are.
I tell Ezra this often, and I truly mean it every time I do so, but I’ll say it here again for the world to hear… Ezra is a finer man at age 11 than most men become before they take their last breath, at any age.
So it took me about 3-4 days to sort all that out in my head, and realize that… I’m not hurt that he doesn’t want to be ‘just like me’… I only want him to be the parts of me that help him become who he wants to be himself. If he learns to do that with all the people in his life, be the parts of them that complement who he is, and avoid the parts of them that detract from who he is… well he’ll be in pretty good shape.
He had all that figured out a long time ago. Smart kid. Suddenly, I want to be more like Ezra!!!
Cheers from The ThreeFiveZero Me’s
Hey Scott, I want to be more like Ezra too. Your children are smart beyond their young years. Jane
Beautifully heartfelt … you’ve been a great teacher and you’re children have done you proud … my Grace is the same … wise and compassionate well beyond her years … and also in many ways a far better person than me … the parts of me that I also still struggle to become better at … like patience at times like you say and to try to be a little calmer at times … she already has down pat … I think we’ve both done well … we’ve raised fine young men and women … and we both should be very proud of that … Nancy : ) <3
The ‘up side’ to surviving lots of chaos, I suppose, is wisdom… Oy…